Friday, April 27, 2007

is he trying to tell me something?

William's aunt passed away this week. The day after I sent him the email, his aunt with cancer passes. So much for breaking up alone.

I called him several times yesterday because I was concerned about him. His family is so close, and while his aunt hasn't been doing too well, no one expected this. She's been undergoing treatment for cancer the past month, preparing for a bone marrow transplant. Everyone seemed to be really optimistic about her condition. This is all so sudden.

I finally got a hold of William in the afternoon. We didn't talk long because he had to get back to work. He said that he would call me later.

Then it's later, and I'm ready to go to bed. Still no phone call. I call him once. Then again. He picks up from the bar. He went for drinks after work, but it's 10 p.m. now. He apologizes for not calling me. I start crying. He apologizes again, and I tell him that it's OK. I just wanted to check in to make sure he was doing all right.

That was yesterday. No phone call today.

I want to be there for him. I love him--and his family. I want to be a part of them, and I guess this is the problem. He hasn't called me back. This should tell me something, right? Maybe I just need to take the hint, but I can't help but continue to hope that he does want to be with me. I need help.

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